caring

im depressed and i dunno why. it could be about not doing well at golf on monday and missing a meeting for it yesterday, but i really dont know. golf used to be a big part of my life but now its like i dont even care about it anymore. i only have so much that i can care and i care about Nicole more than i have ever cared about anything in my life. its kinda freaking me out cuz i dont have any caring left in me, if that makes any sense to you. i have always had room in myself to care more about things, but i dont have that extra supply anymore. i need to get it back, but i cant just stop caring about something. i dont want to stop caring. i cant stop caring. my life revolves around three things; Nicole, school, and golf. and i care about Nicole more than anything else. i somehow need to balance those three things out and somehow keep my relationship afloat at the same time. i dont know how to do that. i guess ive just been really frustrated with myself recently and i think it showed on the golf course monday night. plain and simple i need to start caring about golf more, then ill be happier.