Rant. Bitch

fuck it. i gotta be done with this shit and move on, be happy again. gotta try anyway, gotta quit holding on and let the past go. the past doesnt mean anything anymore anyway. thats all it is...past. over and done with. yay...im still pissed.

Maybe...Maybe not.

What do you want from me? What can I do? I gave you love, I gave you my heart and I never asked for it back. I don't want it back; keep it. Whether you use it or not; I know that it's in good hands if you have it. I don't need you to love me, though I wouldn't mind at all. I would absolutely love that, but I don't expect it. All I want is for you to like me and talk to me, can you do that? Or at least act?

Friends?

I want to be friends; you won't let me. I don't know what I did, but I obviously did something to hurt you or piss you off and I'm sorry about it. I don't need to know what I did, I just need to know how to fix it. How? It just feels, to me, that you don't care anymore. Don't care about me. It wouldn't come as any real surprise because I've done a lot of things to hurt you and I've made a lot of mistakes. You talked to me for a week or two, then you stopped; that made me sad. Before, nobody ever really wanted, or seemed to want, to know me; you seemed to and I wanted that, I still want that. But, I'll be fine just so long as you will be my friend. That's all I really want, well, I also want you to be happy. If you are happier without me, I will try to be happy for you. If you are happier with me, I'd really like to be your friend. Nothing more, nothing less.

Hey babes...

I need a girlfriend, haha. I spend waaaayyy too much time online because I have no one to see and nothing better to do. If you're interested, please, don't hesitate to tell me. I don't expect anyone to come to me, but that would be awesome! I haven't been in a very positive mood since May 2. I might be the only one who knows why that is, but that's sort of the way i like it. I'm not really interested in anyone particularly and that sucks, but it's my fault. I've had plenty of time to think about it, I just haven't yet. I'm being really indecisive right now and I need someone who knows a lot of girls to bounce ideas off of. Not prospects, just ideas.

It seems like all 9th grade girls are out of the question since none of them talk to me anymore. I'm friends with a lot of junior girls, but I'm not sure that i want to be more than friends with any of them and most of the sophomore girls are stuck-up bitches. There's no way I'm going to go any farther from my own age group than that right now, so I guess I'm stuck being single for a while. Aww poo...

In other news, it's October. That's great, because, well I really don't know why, it just is.

Oh yeah, I've made a few new friends searching for babes on Myspace, there are actually a lot of really neat people on there if they are nice enough to talk to people they don't know. I told them all i was bored, which wasn't totally untrue.

The Vikings officially suck again. I don't know why Childress has Holcomb and Jackson throwing the ball in the 4th quarter, they can't do anything in the first three! Hand the ball to Peterson with the game on the line, he can break one 90 yards for the touchdown!

Anyway, this is just a rant and it's going nowhere. I love you all!